SELF-ESTEEM AND CONFIDENCE
See what your peers have to say
WHY DO I FEEL LIKE EVERYONE’S MASTERED LIFE EXCEPT ME?
No one has mastered life! Comparing yourself to others is a dangerous game, my friend. Comparisons can be constructive, but often they just hurt. Focus more on what you personally want to do with your life, not on how you think you should live based on other’s perceptions of you. It’s your life. You’re the main character, so manifest your own destiny.
HOW DO I ASK SOMEONE OUT?
If you haven’t already, get to know them as a friend and spend time together. You can hang out with them in groups to relieve some of the pressure, and this will allow you to see if you enjoy being around them. Additionally, interacting in the role of a friend allows you to connect without the added stress of a date. If you are interested in something more after you’ve gotten to know them, ask them privately if they would like to go out with you. Make sure to ask them in a way that would make them comfortable or they may react negatively. You can also ask at the end of a school day or at a time where you can easily put distance between the two of you after their response; if they say no, then you both have the time and space to process and move on. If the person declines, don’t question them. Not everyone is ready to date at the same time, and a declined offer doesn’t necessarily reflect on you. On the other hand, if they agree to go out with you, congratulations!
I’VE FELT COMPLETELY WORTHLESS FOR THE LONGEST TIME. IS THIS JUST A FUNK OR SOMETHING BIGGER?
Whether it is just a funk or a sign of something bigger like depression, I highly recommend reaching out to your friends and family in order to ask for help. Demanding help will be scary at first, but as someone who has been where you are more than once, I can promise you that the scariest part of the process is simply being vulnerable with your loved ones. Once you open up, it’s all downhill from there. No matter how severe your self-deprecation is to your mental health, continue reaching out to your loved ones for the assistance you need.
I HATE ONE OR MORE OF MY BODY FEATURES. WHAT DO I DO?
Remember that no one is perfect, and despite the blemishes or features you might stress over, you look amazing just the way you are. We pay much more attention to our own appearances than those of others; the things you might mark as unattractive likely pass unnoticed by your friends. If people are making fun of you for a feature, ignore them and find a group you feel safe around. If you don’t like a part of yourself because of social stereotypes, know that it’s 100% ok to break the norm. Ex: It’s ok for guys to be short, it’s ok for girls to be athletic and strong. Although many people in society may think otherwise, don’t act a certain way to blend in. Be yourself, be confident, and be proud; don’t try and hide it. While this confidence is sometimes hard to find, time and experience will build your self-esteem. If you’re worried you might have a mental illness in regards to the way you see your body, see “body dysmorphia” in the definitions section.
Cats to Cats is a peer-to-peer organization. The students on staff are not qualified to give advice or assist directly with any of the mental health issues presented. All informational and educational content is from widely-accepted sources and the testimonies of individuals featured and interviewed. More information on any of the sources or individuals can be found on this page or on our website. The information cited does not necessarily reflect the views, opinions, or policies of the Cats to Cats Team or Los Gatos High School.
Students can seek on-campus professional help from our contracted mental health provider CASSY, or view our Cats to Cats Therapy Information page for information on outside organizations. In addition, crisis hotlines are listed on our website.
In addition, if we receive any information involving potential or real harm to self or others, we are legally required to report the incident, which can lead to potential intervention by school or other authorities. The person who contacted us and/or the person's parents will be contacted to verify that the student's parents are aware of the situation and/or that the student is under the care of a professional.
In case of a criminal report, or when in doubt, please contact WeTip at 1-800-78-crime. WeTip receives anonymous and confidential reports and follows up with potential crimes. We encourage all students to be upstanders instead of bystanders when they witness or are the victims of wrongdoing.